The not so stereotypical grandmother

When I first embarked on the idea of a website for grandmothers I approached a couple of web designers with the idea.  The responses from both were annoyingly condescending. “(cautious) Great idea (pause) but how are you going to teach grandmothers to use the Internet?” 

Now, given that I had already told them I was a grandmother I was taken aback and not just a little miffed. Despite reassuring them many of my friends are grandmothers and use the Internet regularly for work or recreation the web designers were still of the opinion that I might struggle to get them on-line.

Hmm. On reflection I realised that to these young folk (did I really use those words?) their grandmothers are possibly grey haired, walk with a cane and are largely unaware of the miracle of the computer age.  Once I got over my wrath I reflected on the portrayal of grandparents. By and large the images on a Google search are grey with a walking stick.  Yet my 85 year old aunt books travel online, buys shares, and circulates humour to all on her email list.  My engineer dad (81) has been using the Internet since the early 1960’s back when you needed skills to understand the code. Bill Gates is old enough to be a grandfather and I suspect knows quite a bit about the Internet too (he happens to be the same age as me).
From a young child the best way to get me to do something was to tell me I shouldn't, couldn't or can't do it. Nothing much has changed either personally or professionally. Starting a business for the niche market of grandmothers (and grandfathers) was going to happen come hell or high water.

It made me look harder at the market I was hoping to get into.  There are a number of websites for grandparents (mainly American) but hundreds for parents.  The parents’ sites rarely offer information for grandparents and are largely focused on babies and pre-school.

Many grandparents play a significant role in the raising of their grandchildren, from regular babysitting, regular day care or even permanent care.  This market is very under-represented.

A crash course in setting up a business, trademark registration, graphic development, research, web design and mountains of reading and sleepless nights has lead to launching a website.  Where is it you ask?  Slight technical issues.  Well big issues really.  They will be resolved, eventually.

Grandmothers not only know what the Internet is, how to access it, what is available on it - they can also set up their own sites - and have technical 'crashes' just like younger folk!

It will happen - hopefully in my life time!  :D

Nana Lizzie
www.worldsbestgrandmother.com.au

Between a rock and a hard place

I read somewhere that baby boomers are the first generation to have to care (full time, part time or casual) for both grandchildren and their parents. It does seem true for many of my generation.
And for many there is probably still the need to work full time for financial or intellectual reasons - or both.

What are the consequences of this demand on an individual's time (and sanity)?

For me it's exhaustion,  tinged with melancholy, marinated in frustration - and coated in guilt (for not spending enough quality time and effort with anyone). Yet at the same time very pleased to have the joy of regularly bringing everyone together and my parents still being around to enjoy the love and laughter of family get togethers with their great-grandchildren.

My own grandmothers (and one grandmother-in-law) both held my first born 35 years ago and lived for some years afterwards.  There were no great-grandfathers still with us at the time.

It is possible to be helpful to both your parents, children and grandchildren and still find time for me. Magazines, papers, the internet and advertising are full of ideas about how to have a full and meaningful life. Keep slim, fit, and healthy.  Eat this, don't eat that.
Perhaps it's not about me, perhaps it's about family.  Is it about generations passing on what they know and hoping that their descendants don't make too of the same many mistakes? 
As I write Louie Armstrong is playing - "And I think to myself, what a wonderful world".

Nana Lizzie
www.worldsbestgrandmother.com.au

Can you be too old to be a grandmother?

I love being a grandmother. Do I love getting older? Absolutely not - but apparently there's not a lot of choice.

There's no choice either about whether or not you become a grandmother.  A number of my friends and acquaintances, who are 9+ years older than myself, are still waiting. My aunt was in her seventies before becoming a doting nana, where as her sister (my mum) became a great grandmother before turning 80.  I'm actually a little smug about becoming a youngish granny at 54 - I can still play chasey and lay on the floor to play games (just give me a minute to get up).

What's my point?
There was an media article a few weeks ago where a doctor suggested that it was selfish for women delay having children.  They were setting there children up to have to look after them as aged parents when the children hit their 20s.

http://au.news.yahoo.com/today-tonight/lifestyle/article/-/10397546/too-old-for-a-baby

What was really interesting about the article was the poor questioning by journalists (at least from what I saw).  While the good doctor referred to the fact that the children would, in their 20s, have quite old parents seemed to be lost in translation.  Women in their late 30s and well into their 40s proclaimed that it was a matter of choice and they still felt fit and wonderful .  Terrific, and so they should.  There were a few points missing from the interviews, particularly questions about 20-30 years into the future!

Also missing was a mention of the grandmothers to these young children.  If the mum's are pushing 40 and 50 then the grandparents are likely to be well past taking the kids for runs in the park let alone for the school holidays.  Children to older mum's might miss out on the fabulous learning and interaction with grandparents.  Family history, stories of time before mobile phones and more will not be part of their lives. Certainly the grandmothers are unlikely to be able to attend the 21st birthdays of their grandchildren.

Having children to a plan doesn't always pan out.  Having grandchildren to a plan is just plain wishful thinking.

While a bit tacky, below are some links to grandmothers who seem to be coping quite well.

http://www.complex.com/girls/2009/12/the-10-hottest-celebrity-grandmothers
http://grandparents.about.com/od/grandparentingtoday/tp/Find-Out-About-Celebrity-Grandmothers.htm

Nana Lizzie
www.worldsbestgrandmother.com.au

Diplomatic Immunity

If you believe the advertising industry becoming a mother assumes an enormous number of roles - nurse, educator, negotiator and more.  In truth motherhood is a trial and error work experience program which, just as you think you understand the job, you are transferred you without notice to a new department where the old job description no longer applies.  Where the client no longer 'likes' what you have on offer and the simple idea that mother knows best does not achieve the desired KPIs.

Grandmotherhood on the other hand is often a little smug, possibly interferring, patronising and can attempt to impose 'outdated' work experience on an uncooperative and disinterested offspring - a little like the UN, useful when things get out of hand but rarely welcome on a day-to-day basis.

The grandmother is the diplomat of the UF (United Families).  Not necessarily a good representative but the post can have its perks if carried out with the appropriate degree of restraint.

For example - nod sagely in agreement when told that having children is 'different' to the dark ages (your time) and wait for the phone call for help when no book or internet site tell the Parent that during the first 6 weeks baby does noting exciting or fun.  Don't scoff the on-line advice for breast feeding which says find a quiet restful place and read a book offers no explanation on what to do with the 2 year old who is demanding to play superman and for whom naps are for babies - run on over and play nana for a while (with dignity of course). :)

What part of being a grandmother to you enjoy the most?

Nana Lizzie
www.worldsbestgrandmother.com.au

And suddenly there were five!

I am not sure how it happened.

Not that long ago my hubby and I sold the suburb home for a small apartment in an eclectic inner city area. We had cut the umbilical cord with the 2 kids some years ago. Even the bungy connections were very rarely used. Anything remotely connected to young children long since sent to the 'mission'. The plan was to enjoy entertaining friends, going to the theatre and dining on a whim and to randomly leave medications, knives and breakables anywhere in the house with careless abandon.

The housework now took less time than it took to cook a roast and the new furniture retained its showroom appearance.  Windows and walls remained clean and sparkling without a chance of sticky finger prints about 24 inches above the floor line.

We were bored.

Is this it? Where's the noise?   Where are the hugs, the cheeky comments and the laughter? The room full of presents at Christmas? We needed children back in our lives.

Actually, I had begun to consider that I might never be a grandmother. One child overseas for 6 months - which turned into 4 years - and another hell bent on having a great time without paying for an overseas air fare to do it.

Not that becoming a grandmother was my entire focus. I continue to work full-time - trying to change my little corner of the world one meeting at a time.

Now, somehow during the last 2 and three quarter years I have become grandmother to FIVE.  What the?

Am I happy about this?  Absolutely!

Am I cheesed off that the perception of grandmothers is one of grey hair, poor hearing, a cane and an inability to learn anything new (not that there is anything wrong with that) – too right I am!  Not only do I have children to spoil again but I have a mission (or two).  To work hard at becoming the World's Best Grandmother for my grandkids and increase the profile of grandmothers and grandfathers everywhere.

Join me On Being a Grandmother as I share my journey and experiences in to the somewhat invisible world of grand-parenting (while at the same time trying to start a business or two on the side).

Nana Lizzie
www.worldsbestgrandmother.com.au